the very best, pt. xiv
It's Monday, it's time for Pokemans. When I started this week's episode of The Very Best, our ongoing quest to catalog the skill and coolness of every Trainer in Pokemon X, I was pretty sure I'd be doing just the Gym1 and saving the Poke Ball Factory for later because I am so beat from traveling this weekend, but the Gym and the Factory are both pretty quick. Nothing like the 13-trainer gauntlet of Lumiose City's Gym. So let's begin!
(And I do intend to post some non-The Very Best things this week. My cadence has been off lately but I'm finding it again. Stay tuned.)
No Sleep Til Laverre City
Laverre City is the home of the Fairy-type Gym in Kalos, and the region's Poke Ball factory. It's got a very fun vibe. This whole section of Kalos is great, design-wise. Team Flare has invaded the Poke Ball factory to steal all the Poke Balls, for reasons we aren't clear on, but it's suggested they maybe need lots of Pokemon? What horrible crimes could they be up to?
Laverre Gym: Furisode Girl Kali
Kali has a Dedenne and an Azumarill. Solid team, but nothing to write home about. Dedenne's Volt Switch can potentially be a bit annoying to deal with. Skill Rating: 3/5
Kali seems to be very focused on living up to Valerie's standards--not in the sense that Valerie is demanding, but that she feels Valerie just sets a very high bar. I think she could stand to chill out a bit on that one. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Laverre Gym: Furisode Girl Linnea
Linnea has a level 40 Aromatisse. This is quite high compared to my team at this point, but Aromatisse is very slow, with a fairly even stat spread outside of that, so it neither hits nor tanks like you might expect. Nothing exciting to report here. Skill Rating: 3/5
Linnea offers a slightly different flavor of Kali's devotion. Kali seems almost obsessive about Valerie; Linnea clearly admires her a great deal but doesn't give off the vibe that she would join a cult if Valerie started one. Good work, Linnea. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Laverre Gym: Furisode Girl Blossom
With a level 37 Klefki, and a level 37 Kirlia, and a level 37 Granbull, Blossom has the biggest team among the Gym's trainers, and also the most baffling choice: why is that Kirlia not a Gardevoir yet? It learns Psychic at level 36, and that's a valid reason to hold back, but it's leveled up since then. There's nothing else left to learn. A Gardevoir here would be devastating, Blossom. Why? The other two are . . . you know, fine. The Klefki's moveset isn't great but I'm trying not to judge people for having a bad moveset, given that for the most part they just get whatever the last four moves it learns are. Skill Rating: 2/5
Blossom calls out that the gimmick of this is that it looks like a doll house. I'm not sure I would have noticed if she didn't call that out, but I first played this game so long ago I don't remember not knowing that. I think I like Blossom. She's whimsical without being weird about it. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Laverre Gym: Furisode Girl Katherine
With a level 40 Slurpuff, Katherine is essentially Linnea's counterpart, except I think Slurpuff is probably the better Pokemon (due largely to not having awful Speed). But that's not enough of a difference to really change her final score, which is a Skill Rating of 3/5.
Katherine tells us about the Fairy Type's strengths and weaknesses. What I like about her is that she doesn't actually tell us about the Fairy Type's immunity to Dragon, or what its weaknesses are--she just tells us that it is immune to something, and that it has weaknesses. After battle she says, "What type of move has no effect against Fairy-type Pokémon? I think you know the answer..." And I like that. That's respect. And if we don't know it encourages us to go look it up, and that's more likely to stick in the ol' noggin than just being told. Katherine rules. Coolness Rating: 5/5
Laverre Gym: Leader Valerie
Valerie has a Mawile at level 38, a Mr. Mime at level 39, and a Sylveon at level 42. Mawile is the perfect example of how this game would be much more interesting if Gym Leaders got to use Mega Evolution--its base form is pretty mediocre, but its Mega would pose a decent threat. But Mr. Mime is just a good Pokemon. Hers has dual screens, Psychic, and Dazzling Gleam--that covers Poison types, and has a lot of good neutral coverage with Dazzling Gleam, and helps cover for its subpar Defense stat (and make its exceptionally good Sp. Defense stat even better.) Sylveon isn't amazing as a finisher, though its Quick Attack might be able to steal a kill, but it's still a pretty heavy hitter with its Dazzling Gleam with pretty solid neutral coverage in Swift. The problem is, she brings her Mawile to the Battle Chateau, not the Mr. Mime. She'd be a solid 4/5 if she brought the Mr. Mime, but the Mawile knocks her down to a Skill Rating: 3/5.
Valerie is a bit of an odd duck. She wants to be a Pokemon, and seems a bit fixated on trying to understand what differentiates humans and Pokemon, and trying to really feel like she is one with her Pokemon. She also forgets what TM she gives out (it's Dazzling Gleam) and almost forgets to give us a badge. I'm not here to judge but I am judging while I'm here, Valerie. You're on the job, you gotta sober up. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Grunt A
This Grunt has a Toxicroak! That's a much better Pokemon than Croagunk, by now we know what types the Team Flare types tend to have, and that x4 Psychic weakness is pretty bad. Skill Rating: 2/5
Grunt A identifies himself as a nameless Team Flare Grunt. He seems pretty down on himself. Cheer up, buddy, eventually I'll destroy your team and you'll be able to find something better to do with your time. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Grunt 2
Grunt 2 has a level 36 Mightyena and a level 36 Golbat. Solid team, no notes. Well, one note: Dark-types right now just got a lot worse now that we have Dazzling Gleam.Skill Rating: 3/5
This guy says tears will fall from my eyes like Poke Balls rolling down a conveyor. He seems to really want his conveyor belt metaphors to work. They don't. Try harder, Grunt 2. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Grunt III
Grunt III has a Scraggy and a Mightyena. This is a pretty unfortunate team right after we get Dazzling Gleam; the Mightyena can still get off a hit or two, but Scraggy might as well not be there. I do have to give a shout out to Grunt III for teaching me that Assurance gets bonus damage if the opposing Pokemon damaged themselves from Confusion; they set up a Swagger on me and got a bonus like that. That's a strat! That doesn't get you a bonus point, though. Skill Rating: 3/5
Grunt III greets us with a "don't worry, be happy". She seems to be struggling to follow this particular tenet--losing doesn't make you happy, and she is worried because she is, and I quote, "Kind of a scrub, you know?" Don't be so hard on yourself, Grunt III. Though you are struggling on the path, you are at least walking it. Coolness Rating: 4/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Grunt #4
Grunt #4 has a level 37 Swalot. More or less the definition of unremarkable. Skill Rating: 3/5
Grunt #4 is just shouting "ball!" at us, and occasionally "poke ball" or "ultra ball". Then he thinks that once we steal all the Poke Balls, Team Flare will be the only ones with Poke Balls. I'm not sure this is actually the plan? This guy doesn't seem to have much of an idea what's going on. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Admin
This Admin has a Scraggy (surely you can do better) and a Houndoom (good actually). Once again the Scraggy may as well not be there but the Houndoom doesn't have any of the "typical" weaknesses of the Team Flare Pokemon. And it's pretty good, too! Nice. I'm just going to pretend the Scraggy isn't there. Skill Rating: 4/5
This Admin goes from smug to flustered pretty quickly. I like how she thinks we've gone all out "for a pitiful little president like [the Poke Ball company's president]". I did not go all out, I definitely switched in my Wartortle just to get some free XP off you. Sorry. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Poke Ball Factory: Team Flare Bryony and Celosia
We see more of Bryony and Celosia later, so no ratings here. This time they've got a Liepard and a Manectric; Liepard set up Taunt on Calem's Meowstic (great move--he likes to set up Light Screen, and that just wasted him a turn), and then the Manectric got several flinches with Bite. It's a solid team, held back a bit by Liepard being a bit underwhelming at this level.
I think Celosia is the cool, easygoing scientist? There is something charming about the fact that, after she called the Admin lame for losing to a kid, she immediately says, on defeating, "Wow, we are lame."2 That is funny. Bryony likes to talk about probability. The nerd scientist. They make an interesting duo.
Poke Ball Factory: Pokemon Trainer Calem
Calem is also here! He has the same team as before, so I'm not going to talk about that here, but he also dunks on the first Team Flare Grunt we encounter (Grunt Null, we don't fight her so she doesn't get an entry) by asking if she needed to get a part-time job at the factory to pay for that ugly suit. Gottem, GGs, absolutely wrecked.
And that does it for this week! Next week: onto the next town! We're going to buy some milk, I think? And also there's an abandoned hotel full of skate hooligans. We'll see where things end up, and I will see you then.
Actually I thought I'd just be doing the Poke Ball Factory, because I thought that came first. Nope!↩
This is one of those words I've mostly cut out of my vocabulary because it is kind of ableist language, but it's her catchphrase and it's not like . . . a slur. There's just other words out there, you know?↩