the very best, pt. x
Another week, another installment of The Very Best, our ongoing categorization of how cool and talented all of the trainers are in Pokemon X. We've got a slightly unusual one this week, so let's begin!
Badlands, Bad Mans?
The stretch of land between Coumarine City and Lumiose City is a wind-scoured wasteland where no plants grow; I guess that's why they put in a power plant here? It's doing microwave power from Sim City 2000, which I always thought was pretty charming. As we're leaving the city, we get a phone call from Lysandre, who mumbles some villainous nonsense at us about using our new power of Mega Evolution to rid the world of filth. That's a normal thing to say to some teen you've talked to twice! Then it's on to the Power Plant, which we are told seems to be having some problems. It turns out Team Flare has taken over the power plant and there's a bunch of them, which means this week we get one (1) Trainer with a name!
This one is just a linear gauntlet of Grunts, which makes sense since this is a building they're doing a hostile takeover of rather than their hideout. Not really a dungeon dungeon but I still count it. Much like with Gym trainers, I'm approaching this with the idea that the Grunts are mostly just here to slow people down and stall out their resources. I think I've been consistent about that? I mean, I definitely have been.
Route 13: Team Flare Grunt 1
The first Grunt we encounter is I think meant to be the first Grunt we always encounter? This time he has a Houndoom and a Golbat which, you know what? Pretty solid team. They're both solid Pokemon. No complaints. Skill Rating: 4/5
When we beat this guy this time he basically tells us exactly how and where to find the key we need to get into the Power Plant, in enough detail that it almost seems like he's trying to help us. I wonder if he's having second thoughts? Points deducted for overusing the word "style" and its variations. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 2
It's the Scraggy/Croagunk dream team! They're both pretty easily beaten for pretty much anyone by now; he's pretty close to getting them evolved into a serious threat, though. Skill Rating: 2/5
This Grunt comes at us with . . . some weird variation on a knock knock joke? Then he just keeps saying "knock knock" and variations on "who are you" for a while before dropping the bit and just saying we're not allowed here. Which, I'm pretty sure you don't work here, bud. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 3
This Grunt has a Croagunk and a Golbat. A mixture of trivial and solid elevates this one to a Skill Rating: 3/5.
This guy seems pretty incredulous that we are capable of stopping his whole gang, and likes saying the word "fool." I'm going to be real, Grunt #3, if you really want to make your organization hard to stop, you should consider a wider pool of Pokemon. All of that aside, this guy gives off some pretty bad vibes. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 4
With a decently high level Mightyena, this Grunt's team is pretty much as middle of the road as it gets. Nothing exciting to report here. Skill Rating: 3/5
Grunt #4 is a sore loser, and kind of petulant about it. Not really putting your best foot forward here, Team Flare. Or, in this case, fourth? Your best foot fourth? Is that anything? Coolness Rating: 1/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 5
Scraggy and Golbat this time! The one thing I will say for Scraggy is the Team Flare AI seems to love using Hi Jump Kick if they have at least neutral damage on it, which is funny if you have a Ghost on your team. Which can be nice, but it's better to just KO them before they can be bothered. Much like the Croagunk and Golbat above, this averages out to fine. Skill Rating: 3/5
I'm not sure this guy knows what he's doing here. He loves when things happen and the satisfaction of overcoming a challenge. No villainous nonsense or anything. He even seems to have enjoyed the battle and the chance to experience something new. Did a random Backpacker find a suit and just start hanging out with these people? Coolness Rating: 4/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 6
This one has a Golbat and a Mightyena! If I were still doing a ten point scale1, this would rate slightly lower than the Golbat/Houndour, I think, but I'm not, so it won't. Skill Rating: 4/5
This guy's whole deal is sunglasses. He does talk about them in a slightly more villainous way than you might expect from a rando who has just wandered in, but only just--mostly he's just making sunglasses jokes. I guess everyone needs a hobby. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 7
Here we have a Swalot! It's decently high level and a respectable tank, but it also doesn't seem to have much to offer in terms of offensive output. Pair this with another Pokemon and give it Toxic or something . . . but no, it just used Encore and Amnesia on my Gabite after I was already using Bulldoze. All right, if you want me to win faster, I won't complain. Skill Rating: 2/5
Grunt #7 is doing Team Flare cheerleader-style cheers. That's her whole deal. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 8
Grunt #8's team is a Liepard and a Swalot. Liepard is one of my favorite Pokemon designs, and for levels 20-30 it's a pretty potent addition to the team, but while its speed and offensive stats are good, they aren't quite good enough to make up for the poor defenses, and that starts becoming apparent by around level 30, which is where we're at. Sorry, Grunt #8. Skill Rating: 2/5
Grunt #8 is a believer in people doing what they want to do, and she wants to, and I quote, "[inflict] some serious pain on [our] Pokemon." Yikes. Coolness Rating: 1/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Grunt 9
The last Grunt comes at us with a Croagunk, a Scraggy, and a Liepard. This team really needs a stronger anchor. Skill Rating: 2/5
I like this Grunt. She doesn't respect her bosses, and isn't going to let a little loss tarnish her sense of pride. The possibility exists that "My pride is enough to keep you at bay" is an expectation she should revise downward somewhat, however. Coolness Rating: 3/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Admin
Having defeated this guy's nine underlings, we finally encounter the boss whom Grunt #9 doesn't respect and indeed blames for her failings, this nameless Admin! He's got a level 36 Houndoom, which is a pretty significant level advantage over what we have at the moment, and it's a good Pokemon. Skill Rating: 5/5
Admin is . . . pretty bland, honestly. He asks about the status of the project, he gives some orders. Deeply forgettable, but at least the admins get better suits than the grunts. Coolness Rating: 2/5
Kalos Power Plant: Team Flare Aliana
And finally, we get to Aliana, a Team Flare Scientist . . . with a name! She has a single level 38 Mightyena. Fun fact about this fight: Aliana seems to have an AI loop where she will use the move Scary Face until she outspeeds you; if you are simultaneously using a move like Bulldoze or Rock Tomb that reduces her speed, and are using a decently fast Pokemon, she basically spends the whole fight doing nothing but try to outspeed you. I'm kind of ignoring AI behavior in my trainer rankings (and besides, I'd need to do more research), but her whole moveset is pretty underwhelming. Roar, Scary Face, Swagger, and Assurance; this is a moveset to stall and annoy, not a moveset to be the final fight to clear out an intruder. But since Aliana is a named character that we fight later, we don't get to rate her just yet.
Which also means no coolness rating yet. She occupies a particular kind of science archetype, amoral without being, like, ignorant of the wrong she's doing, smug about it, but also doesn't really seem to care that much about being defeated because at least it's interesting. We'll talk about her more when she comes up again, probably.
And there you have it! The Power Plant has been saved, power is restored to Lumiose City, and we can finally challenge the Gym there, and try to find all the random back alley Trainers I said I would, do some work at a hotel, and buy a truly unfathomable number of pastries. But it sounds like Team Flare got what they were after at the Power Plant already, so I suspect we'll be hearing more from them sooner rather than later.
We get to watch the Prism Tower being lit up again with Shauna, and she asks us if we know who it was who saved the Power Plant. Your options are "It was me!" or "Who knows?", and though of course the choice doesn't matter I do enjoy this opportunity to play it cool. I'm just doing my part to make the world better, y'know? I don't need adulation.
I was originally doing a ten point scale! You'd think that more points would allow for a more granular rating system, but I fin that it makes it easier to hedge and harder to really commit to something. And it ends up being more accurate--the differences between a 7 and an 8 might be arbitrary, but the differences between a 3 and a 4 are pretty clear.↩