the very best, pt. iv

04 Feb, 2025

If you can believe it, it's a Monday once again, and that means it's time for The Very Best, my ongoing quest to rank every trainer in Pokemon X, by skill and by coolness. I am drained by the cavalcade of horrors that is the real world so this one is also shorter than it otherwise would be, but one must soldier on, mustn't one? Let's begin.

Leaving The City

Now that we have the Poke Flute, we can give it to the guy who knows how to play it so he can get that Snorlax out of the way. Then it's down the long straight road of Route 7, through the Connecting Cave, and into the oddly-numbered Route 8 (two routes with just one number) and onwards to Ambrette Town. Not much to say about this segment--we're a ways out from the next gym, and we haven't encountered our villainous team yet. But that's okay--we're here for the journey.

I suppose we do have the Battle Chateau on Route 7. This is a facility which seems to be designed to give you a place to grind for money and experience; there's a lot of trainers here, they show up randomly, and you get to increase your noble ranking by beating a lot of trainers here. I'm skipping this because of the RNG factor, but I do think this is a charming little side area. The main reason this is important to this playthrough is you have the chance to re-fight every Gym Leader, and the Champion, and I'm assuming maybe the Elite Four but possibly not, once your rank is high enough. This will be used to inform our understanding of their teams! Also I like rematches, even if the fights in the Battle Chateau only ever have you fighting against one or two opponent Pokemon (that I recall).

Route 7: Artist Georgia

All right, let's talk about the Artists. They all have one (1) Smeargle, and if you aren't familiar with Smeargle, their whole gimmick is that they learn the move Sketch, which lets them copy any Pokemon's moves. This allows them to be a bit of a wildcard--you can build your own custom moveset! Unfortunately, the only stat they have that is even close to salvageable is Speed. It's nearly impossible to win a fight with a lone Smeargle¹. Still, I have made the attempt to document all of the moves I see them use, but I've definitely missed some moves.

Georgia's Smeargle has Vine Whip, Ember, and Water Gun. The idea here is pretty solid, at least; that gives her a lot of type coverage. She gets points for effort, at least. Skill Rating: 2/5

The other thing about the Artists is they're all just talking about art. Which, yeah, they're out here to paint, that makes sense, but it doesn't give me much to go on, you know? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 7: Artist Family Mona & Paolo

Mona & Paolo's Smeargles know Confusion, Clear Smog, Helping Hand, Pursuit, and Gust. This is a little closer to what Smeargle is best at: support and utility. If one must build a team of only Smeargle, this is probably the kind of moveset one wants to be using. Skill Rating: 3/5

Paolo and Mona do not try to get our consent before deciding that we will model for their next painting. I'm willing to give them a bit of a pass, since they're excited, but this is a serious faux pas. Always ask permission before doing an art on a stranger. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Route 7: Artist Pierre

Pierre's got Thunder Shock and Powder Snow on his Smeargle, and I bet he's got some other coverage move I didn't encounter.² Much like Georgia, except with the slightly less vanilla types. Skill Rating: 2/5

Okay, I like Pierre. He's got artist's block--staring at a clean white page, no idea what to do, blah blah, he does a battle, and then he has that revelation/change of perspective where the blank canvas comes to represent the infinite possibilities of art. Good on you, Pierre. Coolness Rating: 4/5

Route 7: Pokemon Trainer Calem

This is our first time seeing Calem's team!³ He's running a Fletchling along with the evolved form of whatever starter Pokemon is strong against yours right now, and in this instance he fights as our ally against Trevor and Tierno. This isn't his strongest showing; a mid-stage starter is pretty strong, but the Fletchling is still a few levels from evolving.

In this encounter, we see Calem taking charge. He decides the teams; he's got a quiet confidence about him, born of having experienced trainers for parents and from not yet having had his hopes and dreams shattered by being crushed by our team every single time we battle him. In this encounter in particular I get a sort of false humility from him--he is pretty sure he's the best one among the five of you, and he's sort of assumed he's in charge, but he's trying not to be haughty about it.⁴

Anyway, as per usual, no ratings for people we will be battling again later. Sorry, Calem.

Pokemon Trainer Trevor

Trevor brings a Pikachu and Flabebe to the battle. That's a pretty respectable team; Flabebe in particular has gotten a lot stronger since we first encountered one, way back with Lass Elsa, since there are a lot more options that have special attacks by now. It's not the best team in the world, but it's respectable, at least.

Trevor is our designated Pokedex nerd, which is an important archetype to represent. Often when we run into him he challenges us to a Pokedex battle, where we see who has seen the most kinds of Pokemon; you can usually win this just by battling all the NPC trainers. I think it would be more interesting if you needed to actually put in some work to fill out your Pokedex in order to best him, but alas.

Pokemon Trainer Tierno

Tierno's still just got his Corphish, which I still think is a pretty solid pick. And he's still a bit one-note, though this encounter does give us his philosophy of "Win or lose--either way, you gotta smile! If your Pokemon sees you getting down in the dumps, they might be less confident," which is hardly Aristotle but it's a good outlook. Projecting confidence and a good attitude even when you aren't feeling it is a useful life skill.

Connecting Cave: Pokemon Breeder Marcy

Marcy has four Pokemon--a rare number in a game where most trainers cap out at 3--but they're all unevolved Pokemon at a comparatively low level. Ducklet, Pikachu, Litleo, and Oddish is a pretty solid team, but given the competition, I don't think she's winning many fights with her peers. Skill Rating: 2/5

I'm not really sure what Marcy is up to. She's hiding out in the Connecting Cave, in the branch that is currently a dead end but will one day become a shortcut to Cyllage City when we get around to fixing the hole in the tunnel. Perhaps she's running an underground Pokemon Day Care facility? Coolness Rating: 3/5

Route 8, Mountain Path: Rising Star Paulette

Paulette comes at us with a level 19 Axew, which is higher than anything we've faced so far. It knows Dragon Rage, which will 2HKO pretty much anything at this level, as well as Dragon Chop, which hits pretty hard. While it will struggle against special attackers, in a 1v1 situation I would put money on the Axew most of the time. Skill Rating: 5/5

Paulette initially comes off as the standard overconfident young trainer--"You're looking at the future Champion, after all!"--but on defeat, her confidence is shaken and she sets her sights a little lower: first to Elite Four, then to Gym Leader. But then she rights herself almost immediately: "I'll be the BEST Gym Leader in the world!" Nothing but respect for Paulette. Coolness Rating: 5/5

Route 8, Mountain Path: Rising Star Rhys

With a Pancham, a Skiddo, and a Goldeen, Rhys is offering a solid but unremarkable team. His Pancham feels like the weak link here, if only because it has no moves that can hit Ghost-type Pokemon; while those are far from common at this point, that's such a glaring (and exploitable) weakness. Still, he can probably win his share of battles. Skill Rating: 3/5

Rhys has calculated that he will win this fight, and then, when his predictions prove incorrect, he decides, "If I keep up these predictions, I'm sure reality will eventually catch up to me!" This is a terrible attitude. Coolness Rating: 1/5

Route 8, Mountain Path: Sky Trainer Howe

Sky Trainers are weird. You can only fight them with Pokemon that fly or levitate (and Farfetch'd and Ducklet don't count), so rather than coming at them with your full team, you're stuck with whatever valid Pokemon you happen to have.

Howe's team is a level 15 Drifloon and a level 18 Pidgeotto; this would be pretty unremarkable, but his Drifloon has Ominous Wind, and there is no way to legally obtain that move on a Drifloon at that level. That said, Ominous Wind is useless against most flying types available at this level, so his egregious cheating doesn't really help much, even if it did cause my higher leveled Drifloon to lose here. Skill Rating: 3/5

I think Howe likes flying, and dislikes falling? Sure, man. Coolness Rating: 2/5

Route 8, Mountain Path: Black Belt Cadoc

I have to give Cadoc some credit here: I have literally never seen the move Foresight be useful before this fight on this playthrough, when I was trying to level up my Drifloon. Unfortunately, it didn't help him, but it's nice to see--and a good way to patch that Ghost weakness fighting types tend to have. Machop is a little underwhelming here, but it's respectable enough. Skill Rating: 3/5

We get to be a part of a revelation for Cadoc, where he learns that walking around barefoot doesn't make him good at battling. He also seems to just be doing that because he's one of those sickos who just doesn't wear shoes anywhere, and not for training purposes. What are you even doing here, Cadoc. Coolness Rating: 2/5

And with that, we arrive in Ambrette Town, home of the region's Fossil Lab. Will they be able to teach us something about Mega Evolution? (The answer is no, but they do have an Aerodactyl with my name on it.)

#the very best